Relationships are tough. In the world of Bumble and Tinder dates, sliding into DMs and party scenes, meeting people has become more external and physical than internal and deep connection. So, I started to think, how does this look for finding the right person. First off, I am by no means an expert at relationships, but from what I’ve studied and what I’ve been told by mentors, counselors, pastors I believe it’s less about finding THE one, and more about finding that connection and deep relationship with someone that is equally yoked. There could be many people that could be the one, but love is a choice and being in a relationship with a significant other is an active work that takes practice, patience, and time.
As I listened to a podcast from The Porch earlier this week, Jonathon Pokluda said a quote that resonated with me and seemed to fit the mission of Hammer and Anvil perfectly. He said, “become the person that you want to be with, wants to be with.” This struck me because we’ve been discussing how to grow, chase our goals, and become the best version of ourselves; and it only makes sense that it would work to our benefit in relationships as well.
We often try so hard to find this perfect person that checks the boxes and makes us feel a certain way, only to find out that person either A, doesn’t exist; or B, isn’t who we want to be with. Or on the flip side, we spend all this time trying to be someone else to fit a mold that someone is looking for to get the girl or get the guy, that we lose sight of our morals and values and start to stray away from the person we want to become and the person we are called to be. This is where I think social media can be so detrimental to society, especially as young adults. We see celebrities, athletes, influencers looking a certain way, dating a certain type of person, acting a certain way that we try to emulate.
Speaking of social media, I was listening to an interview on the JRE Podcast with Dave Chappelle the other day, and Dave made a comment that society wants to think that anybody with fame and notoriety and money was essentially not allowed to be sad or have a bad day. And he (a huge comedic star) said that it’s completely unrealistic and even famous people have a bad day, and that money/fame can’t buy happiness. But this got me thinking that just as we do with money and happiness, we do the same with relationships. If I date that person then I’ll be happy. If she would just move on from him, she’d be better off. We get so caught up in the chase and the desire that we lose sight of staying true to who we are and building a connection with someone who wants to be with us.
We are meant to grow. We are working to become the best version of ourselves. And only once we can accomplish that, will we be able to truly find someone we can make a lasting relationship with. Jonathon Pokluda in his message talked about his relationship explaining that his wife is 5’3”, he’s 6’7”, he likes guns, motorcycles, and the UFC… she doesn’t like any of those. But they have the same morals and beliefs, they are evenly yoked. They choose to put Jesus first and follow His lead. He explains that when you do that, you can build a long, healthy, forever type of relationship. As 2 Corinthians 6:14 says, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”
So I leave you with this… a stat that may blow your mind. 50% of marriages end in divorce, but there has never been a divorce between two people who are actively pursuing Jesus. Let that sink in. It’s a heavy thought…. We so often say we are who we want to be or act like we are who we need to be, but maybe we’ve gotten away from it. Instead of asking for someone’s Snapchat instead of building a connection, and sliding into DMs, instead of going out with someone in person. I challenge you to take a step back, evaluate who you are and who you’re becoming and work to “become the person you want to be with, wants to be with.”
WORKOUT
To become the person we are striving for takes mental, spiritual, and physical effort. So we are going to continue building the best version of ourselves in fitness with consistency and maximum effort. After all, we can’t be our best if we aren’t giving our best in every workout.
This week will be the same structure as last week. For this workout use the WOD app or a stopwatch. We are going to perform 40sec work and 20 sec of rest. Go through each block three times. Take a minute break after each block is complete.
Warm-Up
Block 1:
- Air Squats
- Side Lunges – Left
- Side Lunges – Right
- Burpees
Block 2:
- Push-ups
- Dips (on chair or bench)
- Shoulder Taps
- Bear Crawl (forward and back)
Block 3:
- Crunches
- Side V-ups – Right Side up
- Side V-ups – Left Side up
- Plank Toe Touches (reaching opposite hand to opposite foot)
Cool Down
Hammer and Anvil 